


Does it Make You Sick?

by PoorUnfortunateSoul



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Past For Alois, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7577476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoorUnfortunateSoul/pseuds/PoorUnfortunateSoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ciel pulls back and pushes Alois back down on the mattress when he tries to chase after him. The blond stares up at him, his hair a wild mess on the pillow and his skin soft and smooth and out in the open, and his gorgeous blue eyes all glazed over – if it wasn’t for the shaking and too shallow breathing, Ciel would almost be convinced that Alois is all for what’s happening right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does it Make You Sick?

**Author's Note:**

> Title Credit: Get Well 2 /// Icon for Hire

Ciel doesn’t like the looks people give his boyfriend when they leave the house. He got them all because of how he likes to dress. Most people look at him with disapproval, and some liked it; a little too much.

Ciel would never ask Alois to express himself differently, but shit, that didn’t mean he had to like everything that came with it. The lusty looks he got from old men is definitely not something he likes about it. 

Ciel tries to discreetly move his shopping bag to hide the view of Alois’ long pale legs. His boyfriend obliviously drags him into the next store. 

Ciel stares down an employee while Alois shifts through the shorts in the girl’s section. 

“What about these?” the blond chirps excitedly, leaning close to press his hands against Ciel’s chest.

Ciel tares his gaze away from the ogling employee and focuses instead on the incredibly short shorts Alois is holding up. He tries to picture Alois in them, but with the nice view is the vision of all the people staring at him in them, and Ciel shudders.

“Why not try those instead?” Ciel suggest, pulling Alois’s hands from his chest with one hand and pointing at a pair of jeans with the other. 

The blond turns his head to find what Ciel is pointing at, and deflates a bit.

“The jeans?”

“Yeah,” Ciel shrugs, “it’s almost winter, and the jeans will cover you up more.”

Alois’s facial muscles twitch. 

“Cover me up,” he echoes. 

“Yeah,” Ciel says.

Alois nods slowly and lowers himself down off of his toes.

“Oh,” he says softly. 

-

The rest of their trip continues like that, with Alois pointing out provocative clothing and Ciel suggesting a modest alternative. In the end, Alois leaves the mall with a few new pairs of jeans and long sleeve shirts, and Ciel with a feeling of complete satisfaction. 

He sure it won’t stop all of the stares Alois gets; his boyfriend is gorgeous after all, but maybe it’ll stop a few.

Alois seems to sulk while he puts his new clothes away, and while he makes dinner, and all through dinner, and well, for the rest of the night. Ciel is beyond surprised when Alois climbs into their bed with a look of determination on his face that night. 

The blond kisses him, and it feels much more desperate than other of their kisses. In their four months together, they’d really never done much more than shower together, but it had been completely innocent. There was a bunch of giggling and a lot of whispered, “We’re naked. In the shower. Together.” And “I know.” followed by more giggling and soap beards.

Ciel tries to recuperate as well as he can, but he knows he isn’t all that experienced in the art of kissing. Alois is normally patient with him, and lets him get used to a slower rhythm before they pick up something faster, but tonight he seems to be in no mood. 

It isn’t until their shirts are both off and Alois is under him that Ciel notices that Alois is shaking. And not the good I feel really good and I’m really excited to take this step with you kind of shaking he did when they’d first kissed. No, this kind of shaking almost feels… terrified. 

Ciel pulls back and pushes Alois back down on the mattress when he tries to chase after him. The blond stares up at him, his hair a wild mess on the pillow and his skin soft and smooth and out in the open, and his gorgeous blue eyes all glazed over – if it wasn’t for the shaking and too shallow breathing, Ciel would almost be convinced that Alois is all for what’s happening right now. 

Alois tries to kiss him again, and Ciel jerks back. Suddenly, Alois hiccups a sob and rips himself out from under Ciel. Dazed, the brunet watches his boyfriend curl in on himself. 

He listens to him cry for a few seconds before he shakes off the shock and covers his body with a sheet. He pulls back to tuck the sides in against Alois’s body, and the blond grabs his wrist. 

“Why don’t you want me?” Alois blubbers wetly, “What did I do wrong?” 

“What?” is all Ciel can manage.

It seems to be the wrong thing to say, because Alois starts crying harder. It almost sounds like he can’t breathe, and Ciel is panicking. 

“You didn’t do anything-“

“Then why do you want me to cover up? Do you not like my body?”

“What?” Ciel says again, flabbergasted. “That’s stupid. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I love your body.”

Alois sniffles grossly and Ciel grimaces. 

“Then why won’t you sleep with me?” he asks, sounding tired.

Ciel gently grabs Alois’s hand and pulls it out from under his head. He straightens his hand out and holds the blond’s own hand in front of his face, so he can see it.

His hand can’t stay still, and Ciel can feel him trying to tense his muscles so it’ll stop moving.

“You’re shaking, love,” Ciel says softly. “I might’ve wanted it, but you didn’t. That’s why I stopped; it’s important that we both want it.”

Alois stares at his hand like it betrayed him. A few tense seconds pass before Alois turns to his other side to curl into Ciel, instead. The blond rests his head in his boyfriend’s lap, and murmurs soft, ‘I’m sorry’s and ‘I’ll do better’s. 

What exactly it is that is happening finally dawns on Ciel, and he helps Alois into a sitting position. Ciel forces the blond’s legs open and sits in between them. He gently takes Alois’s face in his hands and tries not to freak out over the distant look in his boyfriend’s eyes. 

“Alois,” Ciel says, stroking his thumbs along the blond’s jawline, “you’re not in that basement. You’re here, in our bedroom. You’re safe, and no one is going to hurt you. We’re not going to have sex because you don’t want to; you don’t owe it to me for keeping you here, and feeding you and giving showers. You’ll still going to get that unnecessarily complicated breakfast you love tomorrow, and I’m still going to be here. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”

Ciel repeats soft reassurances to Alois until he starts responding again. 

“That’s it,” he murmurs after Alois mumbles his name, pulling his boyfriend to his chest, “come back to me, love.”

Ciel rubs soothing circles into Alois’s back and presses kisses against the side of his head. 

“I’m sorry,” Alois gasps, and Ciel shushes him.

Alois grabs onto the back of Ciel’s shirt and clings on.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, “I thought I was over this – I thought I’d be over it, I-“

“Alois,” Ciel says, effectively cutting him off, “it’s okay, love. You’ve been through some awful things, and you haven’t had a lot of time to digest it. It’s okay; we’ll have sex when and or if, you want to. There’s no rush, and it’s not a make or break for our relationship, okay?”

Alois nods and sniffles again. 

“You’re not going anywhere?” he murmurs. 

“Of course not,” Ciel says back, just as quiet. 

He frowns and squeezes his boyfriend closer. Alois shifts into his favorite position, hooking his legs around Ciel’s hips and resting his chin on his shoulder. He squishes their cheeks together, and Ciel rocks them back and forth, long after Alois has fallen asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written for a fandom that wasn't All Time Low or Haikyuu but I'm pretty sure that still doesn't excuse how out of character they are lmao. 
> 
> Anyways, I don't even really know if I like Alois - I just saw this thing on Tumblr on some Black Butler confession blog, that I'd totally link to credit if my computer wasn't old AF and can't handle tumblr, that someone I follow reblogged about Alois being a slut because that's how he knew how to survive and then this happened. IDK man.


End file.
